With teams, managers and people the outward way we act and treat others becomes the inward way we perceive them. In turn becoming the way they observe and treat us –> reinforcing the way we perceive each other.
Often a small step and change in action leads to larger outcomes.
This is similar to the cooperation & resistance loops.
Cooperation and Resistance are mutually exclusive
A coaching exercise that I found works to change the response and your view of other people is to behave as-if the solution is happening.
What?
- Determine – What do you want to have happen?
- Ask – If that was happening how would you know? What would you see?
- Determine – What would you notice about other people around you, if this happened?
- Determine – This is happening…what would you do different? Share in detail how you would get your work done / treat the other person / respond to the other person / show up to the meeting… etc.. picture specifically what you are doing what it is you want to do in that situation.
Do-It
Based upon your responses for the next 5 working days every morning, before you leave your car and walk into the office, flip a coin:
- Heads – you choose 1 to 3 times to be that person. To behave as-if what you want to have happen is actually happening. Convince yourself that this solution has happened and you are living it right now.
- Tails – you do nothing different.
What worked?
On the days you land on heads:
- Observe – what works? What is better? How do others react towards you? What about the solution, that you are behaving as-if, are you seeing happen? … Write down your responses.
On the days you land on tails. Do nothing different.
When your team and you are stuck a stimulus will get you moving again!
What do you think?
Share your responses and practice being Solution-Focused.