In Transforming Complaints Toward Solutions & Understanding Complaints May Point to Solutions. I introduced 12 General Areas of complaints & 10 Skeleton Keys that may open the door to solutions from the complaints.
10 Skeleton Keys
Imagine that you have a key ring of 10 Skeleton Keys. As you hear the complaint a co-discovery process of ‘what does better looks like’ happens. From this Skeleton Key ring you are able to hand the Skeleton Key to the person.
The Skelton Keys are:
- Direct Task Assignment;
- Reframing the Situation;
- Exceptions to Rule;
- Symptom Prescription;
- Past Successes;
- New Expectations;
- Minimal Change;
- New Location;
- When will guilt be resolved?;
- What difference will it make to them?
Each Skelton Key may work best depending on how the person frames the complaint.
Since interactive patterns can be seen as both individual habits and “systemic” habits, it seems only reasonable that all it takes is for one person to behave differently to break the collective habit. – Steve de Shezer
Skeleton Key – What difference will it make to them?
What does the workplace complaint look like?
Significant others involved in the complaint directly or indirectly
- Examples in earlier article … My spouse is all over me to spend more time with the kids … My team is like my family
- Significant others may be your manager or other people who have significant roles in your work-life. Every time my manager walks in my office I get flustered, and then he leaves thinking I understand what is supposed to be done. This causes stress because he will not slow down or clarify the expectations and he acts as if I’m stupid when I ask questions. How do I change my manager?
What difference will it make to them – Skeleton Key
What difference will it make to them: When a significant other is part of the complaint shifting perspective to understand how the difference will impact them may cause a shift in pattern. Identifying how the difference will change their reaction allows a focus on external as opposed to internal change.
Look for it …
- It is impressive the concern and understanding of how this affects __________. When you find this person making things challenging look for the term or phrase they use that indicates the difference your difference will make to this person. Take note of that phrase.
- From the phrase develop an action step or clue based upon that difference. On a level of 0 – 10 with 10 being you are great and 0 being the opposite mark where you are currently. Write what is keeping you at that level. Write a clue or indicator that you are making progress.
- Look for it to happen again and how you make the clue or progress happen.
Subtract the difference ….
- Now you know the difference the change will make to the significant person, how ‘s that person and your interaction different when this difference is subtracted?
- From this subtraction of the difference, when does this pattern already happen? What are you doing to make that happen?
- When the difference is gone what is filling the space?
All Skeleton Keys are meant to find Cooperation and be close enough to create progress. If finding the difference does not work that’s OK try something else.