When a significant other is part of the complaint shifting perspective to understand how the difference will impact them may cause a shift in pattern. Identifying how the difference will change their reaction allows a focus on external as opposed to internal change.
Minimal Change: Working together to create, notice, identify, assist in making the slightest change in the persons actions and perception. Once minimal change happens it may be the crack in the wall to create more change.
Once a system is kicked in a right direction and with a sufficient push, the deviation-amplifying mutual positive feedbacks take over the process, and the resulting development will be disproportionally large compared with the initial kick.