When a significant other is part of the complaint shifting perspective to understand how the difference will impact them may cause a shift in pattern. Identifying how the difference will change their reaction allows a focus on external as opposed to internal change.
Our guilt and concern for what happened in the past may block progress to find a solution. The resolution of guilt Skeleton Key may be used to have the person determine what will be happening when this guilt is lessened or no longer exists. From this change in focus, new solutions may become evident.
New Location: We affiliate location with specific behaviors and roles. Our brain wants to make things simple by compartmentalizing what happens, how to act, how others may act within a location. This can be helpful / hurtful. Changing the location may be novel enough to change the discussion and therefore the behaviors and outcomes.
Minimal Change: Working together to create, notice, identify, assist in making the slightest change in the persons actions and perception. Once minimal change happens it may be the crack in the wall to create more change.
New Expectations: With a Dire Predication of the Future & Utopian Expectations the current view of a solution may be steeped within a resistance loop. Perhaps, co-creating a slightly different expectation of what works may cause change to break a pattern.
Past Successes: Asking the person / team to look into their past and identify successes. These successes may be work related and / or personal. By finding how, when, what happened, the steps that took place, and how they are in the present may help the person / team identify what worked in the past and use that knowledge in the present.
Symptom Prescription: Asking the person / team to purposefully do more of the problem / complaint. This is done in the belief that by doing more of the complaint, purposefully, the person may do or notice something useful or break the pattern they feel they are stuck in.
Working to be observant of times the complaint is not happening. No complaint is extreme at all times. The belief is that you know & may be overlooking or ignoring times when things are working. Exceptions frequently go unnoticed & the situation plus actions that made a difference are overlooked because they seem too small or slow.
Frames and the labels we attach to them dictate what we can see and do: Our point of view determines what happens next.
Direct Task Assignment: A recommendation for the person to complete a specific task and be thoughtful, so they can tell you in detail, what was useful and what change occurred from that task.