Working to be observant of times the complaint is not happening. No complaint is extreme at all times. The belief is that you know & may be overlooking or ignoring times when things are working. Exceptions frequently go unnoticed & the situation plus actions that made a difference are overlooked because they seem too small or slow.
The good thing about a setback is that you had to be making progress to be setback. This means the team / people / you know how to progress…because you already have.
It can be overwhelming to create a frame around a challenge. Forcing other people & yourself to share a narrative story using fixed resources, can break the stuckness & fear of the unknown.
My arrogance & continuous belief that we can find, learn & develop a path to make things better AND find acceptance that you are successful in doing what you are doing. Focusing on flaws allows those flaws to take control, losing what makes you great. Building your flaws makes you mediocre & the flaws bigger.
The hope is that when you can focus on the exceptions what is happening when the problem is absent you will identify and strengthen the solution – what you want to have happen.
In moments of confusion and stress, with work and family, having a system to follow is useful.
How would you recognize which string is your solution?
At the end of day 3 we were all losing patience and we felt it was hopeless…so I tried the following version of the Miracle Question.
The cooperation loop is a mindset of working to find cooperation…any size large and small and develop practice of building from that cooperation.
I argue that it works way better than the resistance loop and the results are greater for everyone.
We find it easier to join the crowd and complain. As opposed to being the outcast who sees the supposed-enemy as a possible-cooperator.